I Did an IELTS Exam Again and It Is Still Dumb
I can barely make sense of the IELTS exam. Sure, I could turn this post into an average LinkedIn flex about a random achievement essay, but I want to highlight how stupid the IELTS exam is and how it works in the big 2026.
Last weekend I had to take an IELTS test for certain reasons, something that I did not know I had to do because I have been studying in an English-taught program for the last 2 years, and I did the same thing around 4 years ago too, but I guess we need to make rich brats richer by taking an exam with a 2-year expiration date, right? So, I had to wake up at 5:30 in the morning and go to the other side of the city to take an exam that already cost me enough mentally and economically. However, let me use this opportunity to mention the bigger and more racist problem I have with IELTS before getting to the main issue. In case you did not know, both IELTS and TOEFL stopped holding exams within Iran, and for those living in the country who need these certificates, they have to travel abroad, which has created a toxic black market for agencies (scammers) to sell their “IELTS/TOEFL trips” to Armenia, Iraq, Turkey, and other neighboring countries. I am sure that with a sanction like this, the Islamic Republic will collapse, and they are the only ones who will suffer from this sanction, not an average Iranian who has to deal with a horrible economy, the damage of a stupid war by two pedophiles, and an incompetent government. So yeah, I should use this moment to be thankful for both ETS and the British Council, who care so much about Iranians’ fight for democracy and freedom that they decided to sanction them from taking a language proficiency test.
Going back to my experience, I feel many aspects of IELTS are just total nonsense. The speaking and writing sections, especially, should be more related to the personal educational background or study/work goals of the participant, making it a more personalized and relatable test rather than a “let’s force everyone to write/speak like ChatGPT.” Also, the examiner for the Speaking section was looking at me with such a depressed look that I really thought I was just giving her more trauma, apart from the fact that she had to listen to me answering highly engaging questions such as “do you prefer to be the driver, or the passenger,” and “why people eat special food on special occasions.”
However, I had fun wandering around the area. There was a big park called 嘉北郊野公园 close to the exam center that I had the opportunity to check out before my speaking test. It had huge grasslands and a graveyard, which was the very first time I saw a graveyard in China and made me interested in looking for more. Sadly, the place was closed, so the grave adventures will remain for another day. Also, there were so many churches in the district. I checked one that looked like the fake buildings in the animations where they are doing some illegal stuff and need to hide the actual setup behind a cover. Given the fact that I was there on a Sunday and it was closed, I doubt if it was an active one. Things in that area (嘉定区) are also surprisingly cheaper than any other district in Shanghai, which pushed me to eat so much street food and end up with a stomachache that, tragically, I could not solve due to the fact that there was suspiciously no toilet paper in the restrooms of the exam center. This issue made the questions about "food" during the speaking exam an Abu Ghraib-level of torture experience, but I kept myself till the end and saved the day (and my exam).
One thing that I can appreciate is the fact that they released the score as soon as possible rather than sending me through an exhausting process of waiting for Godot. I ended up with an 8, which I am really not proud of. It is not me being fake humble or anything, as I think it is a decent score, but I believe IELTS is just a scam that, sadly, we people from non-English-speaking countries have to do solely to show our capabilities in understanding globalization and accept our defeat in that fight. That was all for today, folks.